When An Introvert Breaks A Routine
Its’ the middle of the week and an introvert who is dead set on routine, just returned after watching the premiere screening of the movie “Baby Driver” with brother in the cinema today.
Please note: the plan was made yesterday.
Y.E.S.T.E.R.D.A.Y. meaning my mind raced in million directions as to how in the world will I ever adjust my routine for today’s show.
I wasn’t forced to say yes. I said yes because I wanted to see the movie and most importantly, my brother had been asking me to go to movies with him and hadn’t seen them because I couldn’t go. (oh yes,”he’s a little brother’ heart just rose up to the occasion beautifully). So this was clearly my choice.
Now the part I realized later after saying yes was: “damn, tomorrow’s routine is going down the drain”.
Those who know me well can see right through me on this one. I am someone who in times of need, does take the work over from others, and completes all the work in an organized manner. I organize all my tasks right down to the smallest details (some say I am a “perfectionist”). So how could I even think to enjoy on a weekday?
It is a reality that I do plan out my weekdays, tasks to be done in days after work and weekends well ahead of time. An example is my clothes for work. I take out my shirts on Thursday evening (Friday and Saturdays is our weekend here) for next week and have them in order as to what I will wear on what day. I stick by it, no lies here.
I am the kind of introvert who requires all the tasks, plans and responsibilities to be known before and done on time. The slightest change in plans, especially in the personal arena, throws me off as it means its me who has to adjust everything. So I exercise 5 days a week and giving up exercise on a weekday is not an option (especially after a recent bad illness). I can’t compromise. Well along comes this movie plan and exercise is one task that requires adjustment.
“Well you can’t exercise after work. What will you do?”
” How in the world did you say yes when you were told the timing of the movie?!! “
“Just don’t go. I mean your brother can go all by himself, he is not a baby”.
” If you don’t exercise, you are off the hook. But know this well. You will have to work much harder on Wednesday and no excuses!”
And the harsh mind chatter didn’t end here. It brought out all the tasks giving a picture of mere disaster.
Anxiety and over thinking immediately came into action.
At work, I am flexible. I easily come up with many solutions if the need arises. But being flexible in personal sphere is a big challenge. It’s because while planning out plans and tasks, I don’t realize but I’m trying to control time and events. It is so deeply embedded that it took one big rude awakening to realize that I can’t control time nor events. The advice received: let go of control.
Letting go and going with the flow has never been my thing. Never. But there comes a time when learning to let go becomes critical for the sake of health, family and happiness. Unfortunately, like many other experiences in life, the learning process in this aspect is far more challenging that I thought. It is not easy and I have no idea how others do it.
As I was harshly criticizing myself for saying yes, I realized the negative self talk and forced myself to think in the other direction. It’s good to break the routine sometimes. Hey, sometimes breaking the rules leads to new opportunities. So relax. Not all is so dire.
As I calmed down, clear and logical pattern of thinking began emerging. Looking at my day, what is high priority and what is not. Lo behold, after much hard work, I found a way. I identified high priority tasks and for the very first time, did away with some.
So a “perfectionist” only now learning to let go, was able to manage her routine with some changes after all 🙂
I exercised (for less time), made my lunch for the next day and did few other things before the movie.
As for the movie Baby Driver, my rating is : 8 /10
Review of “Baby Driver”
- Fast paced
- Great Story
- Great Songs
- Thoroughly enjoyed the time
A great evening overall. No regrets on breaking the routine and would no do so often. And came across an interesting scene in the parking lot :).
Breaking a routine sometimes leads to some interesting things.